Sigh.

Well, I don't know whether to believe these online tests but after my lecturer suspected me of having signs of depression, I went to take these online tests only to find out that all the tests say I suffer from clinical depression. Wonder whether I should believe it or not. Exams is in 5hours time and I can't get anything done. My brain is blank to studies right now. I guess I really will handup a blank sheet later sigh.

The feeling of being unable to memorise or concentrate at something really sucks. I feel damn frustrated right now.

Today's Programming exam was crap! Couldn't answer anything.. Trying to study didn't work for me. I just can't get anything into my brain.. And each time i start reading the notes I will gaze into thin air and stay like that for damn long. Its not day-dreaming... I just look at the notes and my mind is blank... Anyway I'm going to get some professional opinion from a doctor soon and see how it goes...

There's so many types of depression and I feel that the one I'm suffering from is
Atypical Depression
Atypical depression is a common subtype of major depression. It features a specific symptom pattern, including a temporary mood lift in response to positive events. You may feel better after receiving good news or while out with friends. However, this boost in mood is fleeting. Other symptoms of atypical depression include weight gain, increased appetite, sleeping excessively, a heavy feeling in the arms and legs, and sensitivity to rejection. Atypical depression responds better to some therapies and medications than others, so identifying this subtype can be particularly helpful.

I think so because I really get temporary mood boosts everytime I'm with my friends. Thats y I tend to go out more often. But like the article says, after a few hours back from my outing, my mood is back to bad. It really happens like this thats y i guess its this. And I have been sleeping alot when i don't have classes. Sometimes I can sleep for 12hours and still feel damn tired.

Feeling much better now though! What was supposed to be fetching a friend to collect some photocopy stuff ended up a outing, fetching my friend to town to drink the famous herbal tea, and a trip to the chocolate shop at Stulang before fetching my mum (I bought chocolate :D ) and finally to the pasar malam. I was feeling moody at the beginning but after a while, my mood started to get better and better because my friend makes me laugh! Thanks buddy!!!